As New Year's Eve approaches tomorrow, I am reminded to make my new resolutions. This is proving to be a little difficult for me this year and I don't quite know why. Maybe I'm getting to a point in my life where I know my resolutions have to start meaning something to me. I'm getting to old to say silly things and then not do them.
2007 was a very difficult year for me. Hard because I finally had to face some demons that I had been shuting away in a closet for a very long time. I know many don't know that I have been battling depression since I was a teenager. And it was only this year that I finally did something about it. I saw someone, got put on what I call "crazy pills" (that's just my term for them) thought I was doing better and went off the crazy pills without consulting my doctor. Bad idea. That seemed to put me in a spiral in which I felt out of control, more out of control than I usually feel. So I am back on the 'crazy pills' and doing much better. Here is where I think I get tripped up. I seem to get consumed by what other people have. A new car, new house, great decorating sense, well dressed, well dressed kids etc. I let what I have get affected by what I think I don't have. My sense of gratefulness gets affected by a distortion in my mind. So in an effort to take back my happiness I am resolving to be grateful every day. With my 'crazy pills' in hand. I promise to my husband not to go off them again.
In sunday school today our teacher was talking about a talk that Elder Eyring gave during general conference. He spoke of how Elder Eyring made a clear choice to acknowledge the Lord's hand in his life every day. Well so am I. I am making a choice to acknowledge the Lord's hand in my life everyday and to write it down or maybe to post it. I am choosing to be happy. I now realize that is a choice I have to make every day. I can't just assume I'll be happy. I have to make it happen.
I am choosing to put my kids at the top of my list this year. Meaning, taking the time to play, to get down on their level. See it from their eyes. Be childlike myself. And if the clothes don't get cleaned that day, well then they don't. (that is really hard for me to do)
I am going to follow and read the study guide for sunday school and delve into the Book of Mormon with both feet. I have never done that before. (i know, i know, shame on me)
I am going to enjoy every moment with Nick. I will make date nites a must. Even if we just go get a ice cream and watch a movie we already have. (trying to save money this year too) If anyone has any fun cost effecient date ideas i would love them.
I WILL continue to go to the gym. I know this sounds weird but I find peace there. Even when I'm being pushed to the point of almost passing out it brings me a peace that I am improving me by improving my health. I feel stable when I'm there.
Our Bishop talked today about teaching our children the habit and privilege of paying our tithing. He said to give them oppurtunities to earn money so they can learn that eternal principal. And I was inspired. We teach our children so many other things, I think we forget that one. So as Nick and I work hard to pay our tithing I will work hard to teach our kids to value it as well.
So as 2008 arrives I hope you all have a happy and peaceful New Year and that your resolutions and dreams inspire you to make your lives the best they can be.
-Rachel
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Rachel you are awesome. You said some great things, things I have been thinking about as well. Elder Erying's talk hits the nail on the head (is that how the saying goes?). I think his talk is what it is all about. I feel inspired after reading your resolutions. Thanks for sharing!
I love New Years resolutions. More especially I love the grown up type of resolutions that people actually plan on keeping. The talk I gave in Church on the 16th was based on Elder Eyrings' talk. If you care to read it you can here: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=df6kpjms_0grr7gdhh
Also, a friend of mine created a great New Years resolution tool. You can see it at my blog www.jorgstyle.blogspot.com
Keep up the great goals! I know you'll achieve them all!
Rachel, your blog was very inspiring. I love all your goals. They are perfect and I want to use some of those as well. Good luck to you with everything. You are such a good mom and I am a firm believer in getting all the help you need. Depression is such a real thing. So many of my loved ones have faced it and I totally believe in whatever works to ease the pain. Good luck to you in 2008. Be kind to yourself. You are one awesome lady!
Rachel, let me give you a hint. We ALL feel that way sometimes of our lives. It's so hard not to get caught up in the minutia of daily life and forget to see "the big picture". I know I struggle with it everyday. You're doing it right though. Putting your family and the gospel first never let anyone down. I just finished reading the standard works and the Book of Mormon twice this year. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but you know what? When you're doing "the basics", amazing things happen in your life. It took me 35 years to figure it out..but I feel like I'm finally understanding. Sorry to take up so much room, but your blog struck a chord with me. By the way, some of the greatest people I know take them "crazy pills" too-including me!
Post a Comment